Submitted by kloud13
As disturbing footage of Dethklok's last concert circulates the news (which consists only of the band standing with their heads down and their hair in their faces as Nathan sighs into the microphone), along with reports that the band has cancelled all tour dates and public appearances, the masses becomes concerned that the band has decided to quit. To the rescue is Mashed Potato Johnson, the world’s oldest living blues guitarist. As the band lounges around Mordhaus, eating ice cream by the tub and lamenting about their imperfections, he mysteriously shows up and announces his intention to help the band with their blues. The Tribunal’s celebrity-depression expert thinks that this is a bad idea, but as usual, Salatcia steps in and allows it.
As their blues-journey begins, the members of Dethklok find themselves in the sweltering heat of the Deep South. To prove how dark and brutal blues music is Mashed Potato gives them a brief history lesson on some of the things that influenced it in the past, including murder, two-timing, beatings and disfigurations. After the lesson, Mashed Potato has the band members take turns insulting each other in a blues-giving session. Later, when the whole band is sunburned (except Toki, who sports a tan), he begins teaching them how to play blues music. It doesn’t go over very well because Skwisgaar and Toki are physically unable to play guitar slowly enough, and Nathan has very little interest in learning to play the harmonica. When Mashed Potato brings Dethklok to sell their souls to the devil, the devil is uncomfortable with the way they renegotiate the contract and decides not to make a deal. Unable to even get the blues right, Dethklok’s depression deepens, but Mashed Potato still talks them into playing a concert. They prove that they haven’t lost their touch when they crash a hippy party, summoning a tornado with their music and leaving the previously happy crowd brutally depressed.
Mashed Potato Johnson: Dem boys, dey got the blues.
Murderface: Can you pass that Prozac shaker?
Pickles: Aww, this is soy ice cream – Skwisgaar!
Skwisgaar: Huuuuh? Maybe I’m not plercrict.
Skwisgaar: Oooh, it must be 200 degrees! Oh, f*ck this sh*t, I’m taking off my f*cking shirt off.
Nathan: My god, I have let myself go.
Murderface: Uh, you have put on a few pound-a-roonies.
Nathan: You’re uh, not supposed to agree with me, dick-brain.
Skwisgaar: Alls they sings about is trains.
Mashed Potato Johnson: Is there anything else really to talk about?
Pickles: Dude, does anybody got any SPF? I’m uh, very Irish… American.
Murderface: Hey, thin-lips, why don’t you go, uh, make out with, uh, Glen Close, and uh, go and bring her Academy Award and shove it your f*ckin’ ass.
Nathan: Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should use my crappy thin lips and make out with Glen Close.
Skwisgaar: We can’t not plays fast, uh, physically.
Toki: Oh, I gots uh, hit in the balls with the train-cinderblock, right in the balls…
Nathan: …and you in turn with get this five-dollar gift card for Hot Topic.
Toki: I can lives with that.
Devil: I’m gonna sleep on it and contact a notary.
Murderface: I’m a notary.
Devil: I’m gonna sleep on it.
Skwisgaar: But it’s unpossilbe. No back-stage, no champagnes, nos potato salad in the shape of a dead ladies… we don’t even have a concert book!