Submitted by kloud13
Dethklok plays a show in front of thousands of fans, during which the entire band, except Nathan, is killed by a flock of black birds. One year later finds Nathan working at Dimmu Burger, where he is unable to perform even the simple task of taking an order from a customer without making an idiot of himself and burning his hands and face off in the deep fryer. As his boss, the customer, and even a bunch of hamburgers laugh at his stupidity, Nathan suddenly finds himself in his room in Mordhaus and realizes it was all a nightmare. Meanwhile, Ofdensen announces that Murderface has been invited to participate in a celebrity spelling bee. He also announces that the band has been chosen to give a commencement speech at Harvard, where they will be receiving honorary degrees. Nathan shows up and tells everyone that, in an effort to stop the dreams about his nightmarish stupidity, he will be getting his GED.
In the massive libraries of Mordhaus, Nathan studies with a tutor for his test while Murderface tries to prepare for the spelling bee with the rest of the band. He doesn’t seem to understand that the whole concept of a spelling bee is to spell words correctly and on the spot, which infuriates Toki. Later, as the band travels to the school where Nathan will be taking his GED, Murderface continues practicing for the spelling bee by writing words across his chest in the hot tub, all of which he misspells. When they arrive at the school, Nathan tells his band mates that he is nervous, which they help him overcome by getting him drunk. Just before the commencement ceremony at Harvard, Ofdensen receives Nathan’s test results; he didn’t answer a single question and received a zero. Nathan goes on to give a riveting speech at Harvard, reminding the graduates that they’re all going to die. Later, Murderface’s spelling bee is televised and the rest of the band watches as he loses on his first word.
Customer: Hey! F*ckface! Gimme four number fives!
Nathan: Ummmm, uh... uh, so, you want a five?
Customer: No, retard. I want FOUR fives!
Ofdensen: You've also been invited to give the commencement speech at Harvard. You'll be getting honorary degrees.
Murderface: Free degrees! I wanna be a foot doctor!
Skwisgaar: I want to be able to flies a plane!
Nathan: Sorry I'm late guys. I uh, I just had another one of those "I can't figure it out" dreams again, and ya know, I think I might be stupid.
Pickles: How can you be stupid? You're famous!
Ofdensen: That is true.
Toki: And you's a billionaire!
Skwisgaar: That sounds smart to me no matter how many times you slice it.
Toki: I gets punched for laughing?!
Murderface: Laughing hurts more.
Crozier: Is Explosion really this much of a threat? My file said he didn't even speak until he was five years old.
Muderface: I'm gonna hit 'em first with something zazzy, like "redemption." R-E-D-M-P-T-I-O-N. Redemption. Then I'm gonna hit 'em with a real thinker, like "confusion." K-U-N-fusion.
Toki: You don't picks your own words!
Toki: (whispering) You don't picks your own words!
Nathan: What do you mean, "five minus x?" What is "x?"
Tutor: Oh sweetie, it's just algebra.
Nathan: It's stupid, and it's not even akickablib.
Nathan: Applic-appligable. It's stupid!
Pickles: The word is "construction."
Murderface: Oh, that's a good one. Construction, meaning to construct; to build; the act of building. C-U-N-S-T-R
Skwisgaar: Ooh! That's not right. I thinks constructions is spelled possibly a different way.
Murderface: Doesn't matter, I'll just fake it! I'm a great speller. Watch, look, here's a word. "Euonym." Y-O-U-A-N-D-H-I-O-M. Euonym. See? I'm a shoe in.
Pickles: No, it sounds great. Your voice sounds like, robust!
Toki: You’re not a great speller. You’ve got to spell right to be a speller!
Murderface: So if a guy hits a homerun, but he’s fat, it’s not a homerun? It has to be perfect? What’s the point?
Toki: NO, THAT IS THE POINT! That is SPELLING!
Skwisgaar: Eh, they can't helps it, Toki. Not everyone gets the advantage of superior Scandinavians ecucation.
Pickles: Kay, name something that has nothing to do with guitar, go! Go, go go go go go.
Skwisgaar: Uh, uh, dah, deh, oh um, uh, uummmm, uhhh, uhhhh...
Nathan: I'm here, uh, to take the GBD?
Nathan: Harvard, solutions. Solutions to you.
Ofdensen: (whispering) Salutations.
Murderface: Technicality: P-I-S-S. F*ck you.